Top grossing Australian films

This local box office information is really hard to find. Most of these successful films had to recoup their investment overseas.

1. Crocodile Dundee – $44.7m [cost $11.5m]
2. Australia – $36.78m [cost $78m]
3. Babe – $36.77m [budget unknown]
4. Happy Feet – $31.8m [cost $133m]
5. Moulin Rouge – $27.7m [cost $100m
6. Crocodile Dundee 2 - $24.9m [cost $16m]
7. Strictly Ballroom – $21.8m [cost $3m]
8. The Dish – $18m [budget unknown]
9. The Man From Snowy River – $17.2m [budget unknown]
10. The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert – $16.5m [cost $2m]

(info taken from Wikipedia)

That’s how crazy it is. Forget the iPad – that’s old news. The Kindle? A proprietorial dinosaur. Check this puppy out . . .

The Kobo is an open-source electronic book reader that uses cheap SD cards to boost memory. It plugs into your computer via USB, so you can carry thousands of books around at once. All nice and standard. No proprietary book format (although it reads many formats). It costs A$200 and can be bought at Borders.

Writers, Get out Your Pens

Self-publishing used to be a bad word. It was frowned upon by the chosen writers. The ones chosen to have their books put into print by publishers. People who couldn’t work in a team environment with a producer and an editor were cornered into self-publishing – and nobody would talk to them. Now they are rock stars. Brad Pitt was wrong in Fight Club. We’re all going to be famous rock-stars because we’re killing off the middle men one by one! What was it that Karl Marx said about access to society’s “means of production” being in the “hands of the few?” Not so anymore.

Now you can release your own music (like I do on Bandcamp) make your own films and upload them (like we do here at Geoffrey on YouTube). And now? . . . Now you can publish your own Kindle novelette.

Do be certain to follow this very handy guide. That’s actually a brilliant link to a list of tips for any writer. Check your work before releasing your novelette to the masses (because no-one else will).

And be sure to make it completely free.

Whaaaaaaat?

I’m sorry but your first novel is FREE

You ain’t going to get anywhere without writing and releasing your first novel for nix. If the Kobo comes with Dostoevsky’s “Crime & Punishment” pre-loaded, you’d better not charge a dime, friend. Dostoevsky is King!

So – all you people who ever wanted to publish a novel (or novelette, or short story, or anthology of poems) – now there’s no excuse. Nobody’s going to reject you. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. At least you won’t owe your publisher a penny if your book flops! And most do (keep that in mind as you write).

So what’s next? . . . Books, movies, music . . . Well. There’s a slew of computer printers that can “print” out plastic parts. It’s all in its infancy, but one day maybe even wannabe toy-makers and toolmakers can start their home-based careers. Without having to go through Hasbro or . . . Black & Decker? (I think that’s where toolmakers go).

In a Nutshell

Quick! Make a run for Borders and order your $199 Kobo. Use the SD card in your digital camera if you want to store more than 1,000 books. And get in now before third world labour becomes too expensive.

The Old School system way back in the pre-digital era had clear cut institutions for composers, producers and other owners creators of intellectual and creative products to enforce their copyright and collect a fee.

If you wrote a song and recorded it, then there were ways for you to collect royalties when it was played on the radio. If you lived in Australia and wanted to see the latest television show or movie from the US you had to wait approximately two years before Hoyts or the broadcasters decided you could have it.

In the last decade, there has been a number of technological developments that have made it possible for the average punter to get a breathtaking amount of material at speed through the crappy copper wires that we used to shoot faxes through.

If one is prepared to ignore copyright law, often it is possible to download the latest Hollywood film before it even screens in this country. Your risks are relatively low. You might get a dubbed or annoyingly subtitled version of the movie you seek. You might get a poor camcorder version of the movie pirated in a cinema rather than further up the movie feeding chain. And you might get caught up in some kind of piracy crackdown and be made to pay a huge fine.

The sheer amount of pirated TV shows and movies I see floating around makes it clear that the threat of legal action and a fine isn’t scaring too many pirates away.

When the first episode of the new DOCTOR WHO aired in UK recently, it noted that my various Oz Twitter buddies were downloading illegally. Thanks to the clever franchise building of WHO re-creator Russel T Davies, the premiere of season five of new WHO had a massive international audience waiting to see if the reboot (new Doctor, new show runner) would help or hinder their beloved Doctor. Twitter was full of comments about Matt Smith’s portrayal of the eleventh doctor and how Karen Gillan’s character of Amy Pond was working out (image above).

Australian fans get their first legal look at the series on ABC iView at midnight Friday April 16th . The national broadcaster seems to be acknowledging the demand from Australian fans. The lag between the UK premiere and Australia being a mere three weeks. Not good enough for many, but I would suggest that the Australian Broadcasting Corporation is being more realistic about illegal downloading than the commercial free-to-airs in this country.

To contrast the different attitudes a look at BBC’s zombie series survivors is instructive. According to the chat at the TV Tonight blog, the Nine Network drastically edited chunks out of the series in order to show ‘compresed episodes’. This kind of cavalier attitude virtually guarantees the geek audience will seek a properly constituted version of the series elsewhere. They might buy the boxed set of DVDs if they like what they have already seen, but aren’t they more likely to be torrenting the whole damned thing for free? They were already getting it free-to-air, but bastardised. What is their incentive to do the right thing?

This type of short-sighted decision on the part of broadcasters is disrespectful both of the program makers and the audience. However it is entirely in line with the way the networks have always done business. And these days, when the free-to-air platform is looking increasingly shaky, it’s hard to see how this high-handed bullshit will benefit the broadcasters in the long run.

After finishing a bunch of website interfaces, I turn from my computer screen to daytime TV and there before me – was the legendary Barry Crocker. I know he’s getting on, but my personal disillusionment with the Australian Film & TV industry seems never-ending. There was THE infamous Barry McKenzie, dressed as an old wizard in an afternoon kids’ TV show called “Magic Tales”.

The only reason why we’re even seeing Australian TV shows is because the ABA enforces it. Without the Australian Broadcasting Authority, we wouldn’t be watching anything but news.

So why do we even bother to make Australian Television? And why does the Australian government finance our feature films for that matter? According to tradewatch.org.au

Local Content Rules in Australian TV and radio ensure that Australian stories and Australian voices are heard over the deluge of American programming. But the US, not content with this, has used the FTA to limit Australia’s right to regulate its film, TV and radio.

That was printed in 2004 and not much has changed. The US Government restricts the amount of US-made shows airing by having a foreign content policy. A small percentage of TV shows must be made in other countries. That way, US citizens get to see their shows in a world context. In Australia, our government enforces commercial stations to screen a certain amount of locally made drama (which can cost up to ten times the budget of cheaply imported US content). It’s all about face here and the Free Trade agreement didn’t help. The US wants us to cap the percentage of Australian content because their massive budgets require foreign sales to turn a profit. The last “Australian” films to make their budget back were Happy Feet (if you can call that Australian) and Kenny.

So – back to Barry Crocker.

I’m sure there was a lot of on-set respect for Barry during the filming of “Magic Tales”. I understand that an actor has to pay bills, but seeing Barry in a government-sponsored, government-enforced (via the ABA) show was kind of sad. He wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for the ABA.

So, are we deluding ourselves? What Australian Film and TV Industry? The 1970s, it would seem, were the Australian movie industry years.

I thought of the many American actors who, like Barry, had a similar time playing in the sunshine of youth. I thought of the many washed-up actors who, like John Travolta and Mickey Rourke, were lucky enough to find that second wind. Is such a thing even possible in Australia?

Maybe it’s just me. Or it’s just what happens when an actor grows old.

Cupid geoff

Ed says: I don’t earn a living making films. I wouldn’t dare. It would kill the love and passion I have for filmmaking. No. I teach and build websites for a living. But I do make films regularly.

They’ll never tell you, but Australian kids’ TV Directors get between $2,000 and $5,000 per episode, depending on their agent and perceived status or experrience. Perceived. Exec. Producers are on about $20,000(+) per episode. Some people are actually in it for the money. And IMHO – it shows.

I’ve directed and shot over 20 short docos in the last year alone and sometimes – they renumerate me. If I get paid to shoot, write or direct something – it’s a rare event. I consider the fee pocket money because it’s barely enough to live on.

So I’ve decided to make this film for love. I’ve watched this credit card disaster unfold slowly and I’m determined to get some kind of ROI on my time. I figure that if you make a film for nothing (but percentage points for all involved) and you sell it for $100 – that’s infinity percent profit. If you’re on points you might have to split the $100 – but you are all, basically, business partners in profit.

I’m writing this as I upload this Youtube test scene of the actor during a character run. Lauri des Marais did the backing music. Leave a comment on the website if you’re into it.

But . . . Perth?

Sure – in Perth, every time you go location scouting, you get a call from the cops. One or two km’s over the speed limit, and you’ll be chased down – while your house is being robbed.

But that’s Perth. We roll with the bogan king-hits and the random, alcohol-fuelled stabbings.

It’s your life, pal. I’m chasing the stars. I’m off to Sydney first . . . or Melbourne. And then it’s Hollywood or Bust.

Good luck to you!

There’s one really great thing about Perth, besides it’s small population (1.5m), only 245 rain-free days per year, magnificent unpopulated beaches and an average yearly temperature of around 24°C . . . Nobody knows it’s here.

So – shhhhhhhhhh!

Ed likes to wear close-fitting garments

Slow but steady wins the race. This is a pic of me (Ed) wearing my new podcasting outfit. Please stand by as we tune in to the web / film digital interface. Just a matter of a few short, codey moments. Moments during which you may like to write a love poem – or get out that old screenplay and finish working on your main character arc. Moments, like this one – that will pass by all too soon.

Hey, Phil. You jacked in yet, Pal?

As Edwin saith, he will not wait by the ‘phone. Well, nor am I; I’m doing bunches of other writing, for other people. Some of whome will pay me cash money. I am attempting this in the four days that I do not work for a salary.

So my weekly financial set up is this: three days working for wages, four days freelancing as a script writer with the occasional magazine article thrown in.

I don’t even think about film funding in between times, I leave that to the director and the producer. Concentrating on what might be is quite pointless. And a waste of energy.

The downside of my 3/4 weekly split is that sometimes the projects pile up. Hence,my being awake at 3.45am writing this blog when I need to be up by 6.30am. Deadline stress just adds to my unnatural insomnia. And I’ve got a paying project really pressing in right after I shuck the present monkey on my back (a short film script).

This is actually a typical dilemma for any freelancer. Suddenly you have too many paying jobs to do all at once. Woe is me.

The upside is suddenly I can afford a new Sunbeam Cafe series 2 slice toaster – the old TA9200. Go here to discover more.

Many in the arts in Australia make their money with a ‘patchwork quilt’ of teaching and freelancing. It can lead to many hours of soul-searching. Teachers and arts administrators who began as artists often discover they are devoting most of their time to pulling down a wage and sending their kids through school.

This leads to the age old questions. Am I a ‘painter (or whatever) if I am not actually painting. This is dealt with by people such as Julia Cameron in books like her 1992 blockbuster The Artist’s Way.

So, not waiting by the ‘phone, taking on too much freelance work and that affecting the stable paying job. That’s this particular artist’s way and I know through many conversations over the years I am not alone.

Crack The Script!

Mr Trivia

Hi, this is Phil Jeng Kane,
I asked Mr Trivia (now M. Le Trivia for some reason) for a bit of space on this blog to provide a lightning sketch of Edwin Lynch.

Yes, true to his last posting, Edwin is indeed a jock-wearing, shut-in weirdo who constantly peers through peepholes looking for a Godot-like postie. But he’s also a writer-director who studies performance and screenwriting; he networks with actors and filmmakers and has always kept up with filmmaking technology; he has a strong grasp on filmmaking skills, like how to break down and choreograph a scene.

Why the resume? Because it occurred to me that his self-portrait was an ATOMISED version of Edwin Lynch the writer and director. I probably wouldn’t work with Underpants Man and yet, in reality, I have worked with Ed for more than a decade.

Filmmakers are great storytellers. I realised recently that I’ve learnt to take most of what film people say, with a grain of salt. Not because they have lax moral or ethical standards, but because they see reality through an imaginative lens. They’re fantasists, embroiderers, hyperbolists, analysers, searchers-for-truth, attention-seekers, spin-doctors, entertainers and sometimes complete bull artists.

Filmmakers spend their lives looking to create a world, through writing, performance, directing, editing and post-production. After this process is complete, they might have a behind-the-scenes story to tell and this becomes part of the creation myth that they then use to publicise the film.

So there’s before-the-film, behind-the-film, during-the-film and after-the-film. Filmmakers will use all of it to persuade you to see that film and this will help them to make their next one. They love to tell a story.

There’s a line in the 1987 movie OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE (not to be confused with the very funny New Zealand soap on Network Nine that SPAA protested against.) The 1987 film is an odd-couple pairing between Bette Midler and Shelly Long. Long plays a pretentious actor and to get under her skin, Midler’s character says “Actors are just bullshitters who get paid.”

All filmmakers need a bit of the bullshitter in them. And with any luck one will get paid. It’s not considered an adult occupation because it calls on all the skills and imagination you used in order to play when you were a child. And therefore its not fully respectable until you get paid. But who wants to be respectable anyway?

Phil Jeng Kane
C/- Mr Trivia

P.S. Of course, I’m an unreliable narrator, myself. I often use a pseudonym and don’t even reveal as much in print about myself as Edwin does. But one day I just might.

Until then I have ventriloquism and my addiction to prescription painkillers to sustain me.